When we, in the Oxfam bookshop, began planning Christmas it was a) August/September and b) I had reasonable expectations there would be just me and the Best Beloved with a smattering of scrambled eggs and salmon, sone lovely fizz, and watching the traditional-for-us’ All Aboard The Sleigh Ride’.

(I know this is breaking into the narrative but I need to tell you that All Aboard is the mesmerising, no-narrative film of Sami women (and a few men) and their reindeer, and their snowy landscape.  BBC 4 for anyone reading this who can get it.

Worth watching on all sorts of levels – not least for the amazing swingy reindeer-hide coats and leggings – just saying.)

So, as it turned out, in December, a deux turned into a neuf.

My offer to work every weekend in the run up because I would not have much to do, and others would, turned into a rather rash promise.

Just thought I might intersperse this with some photos of the tables we did in the run up to Christmas – all in the planning you might recall started in September….

Now, here is the thing. I prepped and planned on my days off – bread sauce, cranberry sauce, stuffing x2 – one vegetarian, one sausage meat – mushroom and cheese wellington, mackerel pate, cream cheese and blue cheese pate, of course ordering a turkey….

Well, enough showing off.

So, I thought, I would be relaxed and have masses of time on the day to watch the children opening presents, chat about life with the grown-ups, dog-walking and generally looking like a relaxed host.

After all, the furniture had been re-arranged to make sure there was table space ( thanks to a table rescued from the shed to add to kitchen-table length.)

And we had bought four extra dining chairs at a house clearance place to make sure we had something more than an awkward mish-mash of ill-fitting chairs.

( Dear reader, they are now for sale on facebook and e-bay and seem to have sold for £10 more than we paid for them – Christmas bargain.)

Somehow, the relaxed me never quite appeared. 

I realised – far too (bloody, excuse the language,) belatedly that they would all have been happy with something other than turkey and all the trimmings – and I would have not had to repeatedly say afterwards that they were all welcome again, but the full Christmas dinner was not happening again.

Everyone was just happy to spend time with siblings, cousins, family….

I had suggested to the BB that I would serve everything in the foil dishes in which they could be cooked but he, ( a rare event on kitchen matters) said no – and that everyone would be keen to help with the washing up of proper serving dishes, rather than throwing foil away.

Thank you dishwasher designers/manufacturers is all I can say…. and everyone else in the room thought it had been a good-enough idea….

After the Christmas day(s) there is the lunch with stepfather and his ‘lady-friend’, lots of bed changing, Christmas decorations to be taken down and boxed up for next year ( house and shop), long dog-walking to catch up on and opening the bottom of the dresser ( to put away said serving dishes) – to find the crackers I bought and completely forgotten about.

The BB says keep them for next year – can you pull crackers if you are serving cottage pie? 

Watch this space.