Following on from the last piece, remember the ‘modern proverb’ If at first you don’t succeed, try turning it off and on again?
Well, the Best beloved needed (another) spine operation and, as is usual, he went for the obligatory check ups before.
They found he had a slow heartbeat.
This was not a surprise as for every other operation he has had in our however many years together, every time the medics have commentated on his slow heartbeat.
No worries, we said.
Mmm, they said.
And then they said, Go home with a monitor strapped to your chest for a night or two and we shall see.
He did.
They were not impressed.
You need a pacemaker, they said.
Now here was the rub, the surgeon doing the operation ( privately, I have to say) was going on sabbatical so we had to get the pacemaker in before he left.
A privately funded pacemaker cost nearly as much as the spine operation – really you ask, yes indeed.
So I spent a lot of time on the phone with medical secretaries – secretaries/assistants/receptionists are always the route through a problem.
Eventually after a lot of chasing around the NHS to try and get this done in time, the private/NHS heart doctor who had first had said said, Do you know what, just add him to the end of my list and I’ll get it bloody well done.
And I close quotes.
So, it is a quick in and out to get something put in the size of say a 50 pence piece and yes it is visible under the skin and it takes about 40 minutes under local anaesthetic.
We were very grateful and relieved.
And when it is done they strap you up to a monitor to make sure all is well and leave you on a bed for an hour or so.
So, all is well.
The monitor is behind the BB’s sightlines but visible to me as I sat solicitously (and rather impressed by my own ability to get this done in time with the help of several great women).
I could see that his heartbeat was registering not so much rather high as alarmingly high.
But he was chatting away and offering crossword clues.
In the end I asked a nurse to come in and check things.
She took one look at the monitor and called in someone else.
But he is fine, I said.
Mmm, she said.
She took his pulse in the old fashioned way.
And said, Mmm….
I’d better call the technicians but that may take some while.
I said, Shall we just try the turning off and on again trick? After all it is only a monitor not something keeping his heart going.
Mmm, she said.
But we did.
And do you know what – all was just fine.
It’s a great proverb and, along with the 80/20 rule, one that I swear by.




















