At the risk of spinning out holiday stories well beyond their sell-by date, this is somewhat different.

It is about accessibility, public money and management speak. 

( You can switch off now if the above is all rather alarming.)

As a happy-to-admit-it-leftie, I am not convinced that all things public are bad, wasteful, lazy, and all things private are fast-moving, clever, better value for money.

I think a glance around today’s world will show you that private enterprise, capitalism, is generally not spending much of its energies on anything that might approximate to the furtherance of general good, equality in any shape or form, reducing the gap between the have-nots and the-haves-more-than-they-can-ever-possibly-justify, and and….

Of course there are exceptions, in both camps.

Anyway, this not a polemic on that, well not yet.

So, we were in Malta and going to see the newly renovated Grand Master’s Palace ‘partly’ funded by the European Development Fund. How much of a part is not divulged.

We had been to the marvellous Malta Postal Museum which seems to have used its European money very well, imaginatively and frugally and run by one amazing woman who let you use the lifts all by yourself. (see below.)

We had also been to the National Archaeological Museum which seems not to have had much money spent on it since say 1990, but is rather charming because of it.

And accessible to someone needing two sticks to navigate the world.

In each of the Archeological Museum rooms there was a chair holder. You could unhook and take out a fold up chair, take it where you needed it, sit on it and return it. Simple. Practical, Cheap. Not needing any attendant and, actually in our case, very useful.

But the Grand Master’s hangout is another case entirely.

And it is a place which has, so we were told, been designed to combine tech with the integrity of the building.

‘What,’ I hear you cry as one,’is wrong with that?’.

Mmm, well.

Follow me when I go into this palace with my Best Beloved who can walk with the aid of two sticks, gently, and with some places to sit.

Now, a lot of people who visit museums are people of a certain age. Don’t get me wrong, parents with children do, and many are determined to do so. Young couples do, single women on a break do. People with specialist interest in the subject of the museum do too. And good on them all.

But any museum needs to take into account people whose mobility is not that of the 36 year-old-designer and his cohorts of tech-enamoured followers.

Tech could, should, and sometimes does, great things to make a museum come alive and be possible for people to use well – but then again, not always.

The first rooms of the Grand Master’s House had nowhere to sit. It had a rather confusing 3D tech plan of a bit of Valletta virtually rising within a bit of the floor. But it was just blocks, not anything really visual. 

You were not allowed to touch the rail which went round this despite the fact it was sturdy metal and would have been useful for someone a bit unsteady. An attendant was there to tell you so.

Then you went out into the courtyard. Nowhere across the whole space was there anywhere to sit. No bench, no low wall. Nothing.

To get to the famous armoury ( BB’s inclination rather than mine) you needed to go upstairs or take the lift.

The nice man who had taken our tickets said he had to contact his colleague to come out of the building on the other side of the courtyard, conduct us to the lift, he in turn had to call his colleague on the next floor up to meet us, and then we could travel in a lift one floor. That is three attendants for us to take a lift from the ground floor to the first floor. I rest my case…..

In the armoury there were benches a-plenty against the walls. There were (and those of us not fascinated by the means of killing each other) an awful lot of exhibits – four lines of showcases of guns, armoury, knives, swords etc etc.

Then there was a lower floor with the grand rooms of the house/palace.

But to get there was a flight, not a long flight, but a flight nevertheless, of highly polished stone steps. Nothing to hold on to. No ramp. And, can you believe it, a sign saying be careful because they were slippery.

We asked an (another) attendant and she said there was a lift, but it was broken and hadn’t been fixed for ‘a while.’

There is no way someone with balance issues, using two sticks to walk around in the best of circumstances, was going to attempt a flight of steps of polished stone with an arse-saving notice saying basically you were warned that these are slippery, so your fault if you fall.

Yes, he could have gone down on his bum but really, would you? Would you want to have to do that?

We left. 

On the way out we were talking to the nice man by the ticket machine, who lifted a barrier he no doubt shouldn’t have, to let the BB access to a seat. He told us he had to stand for his whole shift because the cameras watched him and he was reprimanded if he was caught sitting down.

I was cross. Clearly millions have been spent on this renovation and so little spent on making it accessible – children were being brought in, but where was the child-friendly stuff/space to make it all make sense to them? I have no idea what there was in aid of helping visually-impaired people – no audio that I saw. Leave alone anything else. 

Below is from the website:

(So, Heritage Malta’s CEO is Noel Zammit who says of himself, )

‘Software engineering skills and national heritage are rarely uttered in the same sentence. However, as CEO for Malta’s National Agency for museums, conservation practice, and cultural heritage, I find myself relying on my extensive experience in the former to improve and promote the latter.

My professional career as software engineer began in Malta and continued in the United Kingdom, where I provided development solutions to multinationals, giving them a competitive edge in their respective sectors.

Eventually, I made my way back to Malta, where I worked within the Malta Centre for Restoration until it was ultimately absorbed by Heritage Malta. Within the Agency, I gradually climbed through the ranks, moving through IT, finance, marketing and business development, until I was appointed CEO in 2017.

In my few years in this role, I have pooled my knowledge and experience, spanning over two decades, to lead a massive internal cultural shift in Heritage Malta, through careful re-structuring, re-branding and strategic alignment.

Heritage Malta clients and observers have surely noticed our focus on digitisation and market presence of our cultural heritage, not just as a way of remaining accessible through COVID-19 or to ensure long term sustainability, but also as a way of safeguarding a heritage that is, as our motto implies, ‘Part of Us’ all.’

That is the language of business-speak if ever there was. 

There is nothing wrong in coming from a ‘different’ background into the heritage field, I am sure that could be a very good thing. The issue is what he wants to say and do.

What is ‘strategic alignment’ when it comes to history and making that accessible in all sense of the word? Just for example.

I’ve no knowledge of Zammit but hope 

1. he speaks human to his friends and family 
2. he is doing better with the people who work for him than teaching hem management speak 
3. he is not part of the notoriously corrupt Maltese elite
4. he reads the email I have sent him and does some simple things to make accessibility better in the Grand Master’s House.
5. an answer would be nice but I am not holding my breath.

And by the way The Grand Master’s Palace had the worst, least-stocked museum shop I have seen in a long time. Not that I am in a complaining mood……