My Day in Georgian

Friends of ours invited us to a celebration of the publication of Tristram Shandy – yes indeed not the usual party invitation.

At the time of the invitation, the diary looked blank as far as the eye could see but as seems to always happen, the it filled up and time to think about this event was at a premium.

(Mind you that was nothing  compared to what the the lovely people who were organising it had to do and with just a few other commitments…)

Anyway, my best beloved was asked if he would read a little bit of am-dram stuff that that been written and would he be Tristram Shandy’s father.

Of course he would, darling, he would put it all out there…

Late in the day, I, who am no-am dram type, was asked to play his wife at the start of the event with an off stage ad lib sex scene – channeling my inner When Harry Met Sally – really? 

I said yes, but refused to rehearse.

Meanwhile I had heard from A who was busy organising Georgian food for more than 50 whilst S was revising his plans for the script.

I said I would cook something and found a recipe for a Georgian pie on the ever-useful Google. 

It came from The Art of Cookery Made Plain And Easy by Hannah Glasse  published in 1747 when they didn’t bother with quantities, or much in the way of timings, or temperatures – certainly not for 50 people.

Here it is:

To make an Onion Pye.

Wash, and pare some Potatoes, and cut them in Slices, peel some Onions, cut them in Slices, pare some Apples and slice them, make a good Crust, cover your Dish, lay a Quarter of a Pound of Butter all over, take a Quarter of an Ounce of Mace beat fine, a Nutmeg grated, a Tea Spoonful of beaten Pepper, three Tea spoonfuls of Salt, mix all together, strew some over the Butter, lay a Layer of Potatoes, a Layer of Onion, a Layer of Apple, and a Layer of Eggs, and so on, till you have filled your Pye, strewing a little of the Seasoning between each Layer, and a Quarter of a Pound of Butter in Bits, and six Spoonfuls of Water. Close your Pye, and bake it an Hour and a Half: A Pound of Potatoes, a Pound of Onion, and a Pound of Apples, and twelve Eggs will do.

That was what I started with and at the end of this, should you get that far, there is my version..

Suffice it to say, I made a pie.

And we were going to Frome which is a lovely town full of people for whom a vegetarian option would be a necessity so the pie was a good option.

Meanwhile, we realised that as we were to play parts, we needed costumes.

The BB went onto his local am-dram costume mistress to hunt out something and I asked him to get me a dress.

I would have gone with him to try things on but I was busy with getting the Oxfam shop ready for Christmas, going up to London, upholstery and other stuff that takes up the time of a Sussex housewife.

So, though I am touched by his mental image of me, the dress didn’t quite fit.

Given that it was an am-dram costume it had poppers rather than any more substantial fastenings – and they were in the front, from the cleavage down.

I ask you to use your imagination to realise what happened if I stretched my arms out…

Now the Georgian were no prudes, but if not to shock the good people of Frome I would have had to spend an afternoon holding my breath and keeping my arms firmly by my sides to get away with it.

Instead, I raced to Chichester to buy an old lady’s nightie from M&S and a haberdashers to get some ribbon to make an outfit which made me look like a slightly bawdy version of Jane Austen’s mother.

I would have gone for the full wig and flounced skirts etc but have you any idea how hard it is to find suitable costume hire in Deepest Sussex with 24 hours notice?

(I was put to shame by the marvellous costumes on who at the event but at least I made a good pie.)

So, to the event itself.

It was marvellous.

Apparently it was a Georgian convention for the women to eat at one end of the table and men at the other – how nice was that!

Three courses and each interspersed with a series of vignettes from the book acted out by ‘members of the party’ and at the end of each one, there was an expert (found among their friends) to tell us some background stuff which ranged from the use of forceps in the time, to the only portrait of Lawrence Stern to psychological aspects of what the book says about people, and a very quirky tracing of a copy of the book through a very quirky family story…..

Yes indeed, when did you ever go to such a lunch?

The room was old, had a log fire burning, candles all over the place, pineapples as decorations, wonderful food and good company.

The hostess was (amazingly) fielding calls about a plumbing disaster, the dog went walkabout and was brought back by people down the street, the host called in all his actors and a seriously impressive singer and choir, wine flowed, young people brought us sweetmeats and syllabub – yes of course, all made or done by their friends.

I curtsey in a very Georgian way to A and S for one of the most memorable ways I have spent a day.

( On the way back to our hotel, my BB was analysing the successes and failures of his performance but hey ho….)

So, to the pie.

Now this is a recipe I intend to replicate for the lunch I am doing for 35 in the next couple of weeks and I realise that I am channelling my inner Hannah Glasse.

This is the 21st century version of a vague recipe….

Before you start, be prepared for a lot of butter and eggs. You have been suitably warned.

Get two of those large foil turkey roasting ‘tins’ you can get at this time of year.

You need two because the pie will be too heavy for one.

Check they fit your oven.

Peel lots of potatoes and slice them with the help of a food processor and put them in the doubled turkey roasters with quite a lot of butter, into a medium oven so they cook gently.

Meanwhile, slice a lot of onions in a food processor or buy ready diced onions and again, with butter sweat them for some time.

Once the onions and potatoes are pretty much cooked, add the onions in a layer above the potatoes, having put some salt, pepper and allspice ( and if you feeling particularly Georgian, a bit extra of grated nutmeg between the layers.)

Meanwhile slice the apples – please don’t bother to peel them and use all the leftover glut of apples your friends and neighbours give you – so a mix of cooking and eating.

Just cut out the bad bits and leave the cores for the compost.

Layer above the onions and again a sprinkling of allspice and quite a bit of butter.

Beat gently a lot of eggs – I used 18 – and put over the layers so that they cover (more or less) the other ingedients.

Cover with shortcrust pastry. Of course you can buy it but I am home-made afficiando.

Decorate the pie with left over scraps.

Bake at about 170 until golden.

Cool overnight.

Then cover with tinfoil, put in the boot of the car and make sure your BB does not throw his boots or bag on top of it.


Nice Coincidences

It has been a time of small coincidences in the Petersfield Oxfam bookshop.

(I’m no believer in fate, or things that were meant to be, but I like a nice coincidence as much as the next woman.)

One day recently, I was sorting through a small avalanche of donations and my mind began to wander to the catering for our annual winter lunch.

Feeding 30 plus people is not in itself hard as long as you chose your menu wisely.

Individual soufflés anyone?

Last year I made pies and I am, though I say it myself, a reasonable shortcrust pastry maker but pastry does require a bit of faff and multiply that by 30 people’s worth of faff and I shan’t do that again this year.

One year I made a chicken something or another which I got from inside my head rather than any recipe book and that was all very well until I learned a well-know chef had decided to come. 

My lodestar for deciding what to cook is a farmer friend who likes his food, is always very appreciative and – because he can’t do with eating standing up – he leads the way to our outdoor table and others follow, thus easing the elbow-to-elbow crush in the house.

So, there I am thinking about what he would like, his exacting palate – and praying it doesn’t rain.

And I am still book-sorting away when I came across this little foodie delight.

IMG_2273

Usually, we have out winter lunch two weeks before Christmas which means it would be on December 16th but because of pressure on that end of the month, we decided to have it on the 9th.

So imagine my pleasure at finding that inside the book was this:

fullsizeoutput_dd8

 

Of course that doesn’t quite fit into the perfect coincidence, but it was nice non the less.

So, I thought I would have a read and see if there was any recipe I could use……..

IMG_2267

 

I am still not entirely clear what gets passed through a sieve…. and who would have thought Bovril was an essential ingredient in 1930s Chile?

IMG_2268

 

There is no doubt, none at all, that that asparagus would be well and truly cooked through….

fullsizeoutput_dda

 

Chicken meringue – I am not sure my farmer friend would go for that.

And finally,

IMG_2271

 

It was interesting to gather that not everyone who bought this book would have had access to ice – no fridges.

Call me a lax cook if you will, but I decided against trying to source Nelson’s gelatine and boiling tins of pineapple, straining them through rinsed napkins and then adding green food colour.

Leaving recipes behind, I turned my attention to natural history. It is hard to be sure any patterns when it comes to what is donated to the shop.

Just as you lament the lack of paperback fiction, the shelves are nearly bare and you think, this at last must be the Kindle effect, a tonne of novels arrive.

So, I am hesitant to share my theory on natural history books but here goes anyway.

We used to get lots and lots of books about natural history – from birdwatching to fossils to geology to, and given where we are this is not surprising, a lot of copies of Gilbert White’s Natural History of Selbourne.

( I always saved a particularly good version of this to see at Christmas – it makes a good present.)

Recently though, we have had very little and when I say recently, I mean perhaps the last year or so.

My theory is that people no longer look at the small and local and want to see Blue Planet or programmes about lions of the Kalahari.

But we do occasionally get copies of books from the New Naturalist Series – they have marvellous covers and sell very well.

images-1.jpegUnknown.jpegimages.jpegUnknown-1.jpeg

(I could bore you with the background information on why some are worth much more than others but I am guessing you don’t really, in your heart of hearts, want to know.)

Anyway, we have had some in recently so I put together a table display of them and some other stragglers of natural history. 

It sold so well that instead of lasting a week, I had to re-think the table three days later.

We also get some books in the Wayside and Woodland series published by Frederick Warne. 

And, just after I had re-done the table, I’m sorting some books, and this came in.

IMG_2274

How interesting I thought, it is by a woman. I wonder who she was.

And inside I found this:

IMG_2272

It says that her book, this book I am holding in my hand, was the first book on dragonflies to ‘achieve wide popular readership.’ ( Now apparently worth about £25.)

It also says that Cynthia Longfield used some of her ‘ample private means’ to part sponsor the chartering of a ship containing ‘a band of natural historians’ who went on a exploratory trip to the Pacific.

She travelled widely in Africa:’ I find machetes so useful in the jungle.’

And guess what else it says about the Cynthia – she was asked to contribute a volume to the New Naturalist Series which ‘ quickly sold out, changing hands at a high premium until it was re-printed.’

Indeed the 1960 first edition is now worth about £90.

We have a copy. It came in with the other New Naturalists and my colleague who collects them valued them for me, so I didn’t notice her name. It is in our cabinet of valuable books.

md22768958351.jpg

Satisfying coincidences all round.

Odysseus – the not so modern man

Going on holiday with someone steeped in Greek history and mythology has its advantages.

There are of course times when chit chat of the day, especially when the day has been weather dull and not much going on, can flag.

But at that point you can steer the conversation around to, say, Odysseus.

Apparently, he landed on an island, since claimed to be Corfu (where we were.)

Not for the first time, he was shipwrecked and had to sleep on the beach.

Imagine his surprise in the morning then, when a delightful princess arrived with her handmaidens, who recognised him for the gent he was and took him home to be lauded by her father’s court.

(Even more surprising was the fact she and her handmaidens had travelled across the island to do the washing and that is how they bumped into him…..)

Image result for images odysseus

Actually, there is a quite a lot of cut and paste about Odysseus’ adventures – shipwrecked, on the beach with a few survivors, going inland to kill a sheep, roasting it and then waiting for a pretty girl to turn up.

Anyway, we were at the taverna and the best beloved looked up Tennyson’s poem about what happened when Odysseus finally got home after all his travels.

You might remember that his wife Penelope had been keeping her 108 suitors -who were pretty sure that Odysseus was not coming back in a hurry – waiting by weaving a shroud.

She said she would choose one of them when she had finished – but each night she would unpick a bit to fend off decision time.

This ruse lasted three years until she was unmasked by a faithless servant.

Given that Odysseus was away for 20 years, she must have had some more inventive tricks up her Grecian sleeve.

So Odysseus gets home and decides to come in dressed as a beggar to see what is what, no doubt.

The goddess Athena gets involved, and Penelope sets up a contest for the still lingering suitors – none of which apparently recognise our hero – so that whoever can string Odysseus’s rigid bow and shoot an arrow through twelve axe heads may have her hand. 

Well, yes of course, Odysseus wins and the suitors are all slaughtered.

Meanwhile, back at the taverna, my BB had looked up Tennyson’s poem on what happened next.

( You need to know at this point, just in case you didn’t, that Odysseus and Ulysses are the same man – the same, away for 20 years, shipwrecked,  los of adventures, fond of a pretty girl, man.)

Now, I am always throwing away copies of Tennyson’s work at the Oxfam shop – he is not read much in these times and parts – but this poem is a great rail against getting old and not doing what you can in the time you have. 

(By the way Tennyson was not a lord – he was christened Alfred Lord Tennyson.)

Which is fine and dandy, but if I was Penelope and he came in of an evening and read this to me as a justification for what he was about to do, I might be less than pleased. 

(In fairness there is nothing in the Odessy to say whether he actually set off again or stayed home and told his wife and son how grateful he was that they had kept all things in order, the home fires burning, and were there to look after him in his old age, listen to his endless, bloody endless, stories of his adventures…..)

The commentary is mine…

Ulysses

It little profits that an idle king, 

By this still hearth, among these barren crags, 

Match’d with an aged wife, I mete and dole 

Unequal laws unto a savage race, 

That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me. 

The aged wife, mate, is so because you have been away for 20 years and she has been fending off suitors, bringing up your son – born just before you set off on your adventures and who has been running your kingdom….

I cannot rest from travel: I will drink 

Life to the lees: 

(so, you got home, hung around in disguise and now instead of being nice to your very long-suffering wife and son who have kept everything together, you think, ‘ I really need a bit of a trip, something exciting to break the monotony.’ )

All times I have enjoy’d 

Greatly, have suffer’d greatly, both with those 

That loved me, and alone, on shore, 

(not that alone, with a pretty girl on each shipwrecked bay….) 

and when 

Thro’ scudding drifts the rainy Hyades 

Vext the dim sea: I am become a name; 

For always roaming with a hungry heart 

Much have I seen and known; cities of men 

And manners, climates, councils, governments, 

Myself not least, but honour’d of them all; 

( and modesty not being one of my many, many great qualities…)

And drunk delight of battle with my peers, 

Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy. 

I am a part of all that I have met; 

Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’ 

Gleams that untravell’d world whose margin fades 

For ever and forever when I move. 

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

( I am guessing Penelope won’t be that pleased to hear that.) 

To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use! 

As tho’ to breathe were life! Life piled on life 

Were all too little, and of one to me 

Little remains: but every hour is saved 

From that eternal silence, something more, 

A bringer of new things; and vile it were 

For some three suns to store and hoard myself, 

And this gray spirit yearning in desire 

To follow knowledge like a sinking star, 

Beyond the utmost bound of human thought. 

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail: 

There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners, 

Souls that have toil’d, and wrought, and thought with me— 

That ever with a frolic welcome took 

( Mmm. a shipwreck a week and not that much of a frolic, I am thinking…a man with an overly romantic hindsight.)

The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed 

Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old; 

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil; 

Death closes all: but something ere the end, 

Some work of noble note, may yet be done, 

( Rest on your laurels, mate, and bear in mind that we all look backwards and wish that we might have done something more impressive with our lives, but hey ho, you had more adventures than most – and certainly more than Penelope got.)

Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods. 

( see above re self-depreciation)

The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks: 

The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep 

Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends, 

‘T is not too late to seek a newer world. 

Push off, and sitting well in order smite 

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds 

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths 

Of all the western stars, until I die. 

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down: 

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles, 

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew. 

Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’ 

We are not now that strength which in old days 

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; 

One equal temper of heroic hearts, 

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will 

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Lottery Winnings

Within almost spitting distance of our hotel room, there were two conflicting ways in which to get rid of quite a lot of my lottery winnings.

It was the end of the season so the very big yacht/boat/whatever/, was all alone against the jetty and watchable from our hotel bedroom window.

IMG_2097

Indeed so close were we that – if we had only had the right passwords – we could have logged onto to crew, captain’s, owner’s or guests’ wifi.

It is called Apogee which I thought, perhaps a little optimistically, meant that its owner had a sense of humour.

It turns out that its owner wants rid – perhaps, I thought, indeed it had been the apogee, and then things had gone downhill for him.

(The price has been reduced by $500,000 and it is now going for $24,950,000.

Or you can charter it for $275,000 per week.)

But no, a little research shows that the owner is someone called Darwin Deason ( yes he is American) worth some $1.45 billion dollars so he can probably live with the current disappointment of no sale.

I looked up what we might get for that amount of winnings and the specs were indeed impressive – if, I have to say, tasteless.

The main salon is panelled in mahogany and has white carpet and brown furniture.

Well, white carpet is so James Bond circa 1970s and completely impractical ( for the cleaning crew.)

And if I was out and about in Med on a boat like that, in the sunshine, why on earth would I want mahogany and brown furniture – I could get that in Furniture Land in Croydon.Image result for yacht apogee images

Mind you, the spec says, guests can converse there in comfort whilst waiting for their dinner to be served at the 10-seater dinning table – indoor one or outdoor one, so that is all right.

Image result for yacht apogee images

Image result for yacht apogee images

The master suite has his and hers bathrooms, a walk-in wardrobe, and office and a sitting room.

And of course there are guest rooms though one of them has a double sofa bed which hardly strikes the same note of luxury – I had one of those in my first student flat.

There is a gym, jacuzzi and two bars – one each side so you can shuttle across to see a different view, or oscillate between sun and shade.

There is an indoor pool and an area at the bow ‘to store motorised toys’.

Now I didn’t think they’d be posh rubber rings and indeed they aren’t…..

‘Two Nouvurania tender dingys with a 300 hp & 230 hp engine respectively, four 3 person Kawasaki water bikes, various scuba diving equipment, water-skis, fishing gear, underwater aft lights, two see through bottomed Explorer kayaks.’

All this is courtesy of a 2013  -refit which is something my other choice to spend my lottery millions, did not have.

IMG_2098

This was the home of an artist.

IMG_2099

It turns out – there has been time to do quite a lot of research given that we have been somewhat rain-confined to our holiday rental – Angelos Giallinas 1867-1939 was one of the last of the Heptanese School of Art.

That got you sitting up straighter didn’t it?

So, to quail your beating heart, here is the information you need and I am sure you will feel better for it:

‘The School of the Seven Islands, (Hepatense) also known as the Ionian Islands’ School succeeded the Cretan School as the leading school of Greek post-Byzantine painting after Crete fell to the Ottomans in 1669. Like the Cretan school it combined Byzantine traditions with an increasing Western European artistic influence, and also saw the first significant depiction of secular subjects. The school was based in the Ionian Islands, which were not part of Ottoman Greece, from the middle of the 17th century until the middle of the 19th century.

So, Giallinas had painted murals at Sisi’s palace in Achelleion – where we were just today but I hadn’t known that when I visited – how exciting…..

(I am leaving it to you to do the research on Sisi and her palace and rather tragic history.)

I read that Giallinas, after studying in various places, decided to specialise in watercolours and had his first solo exhibition in Athens in 1886 where he met the British ambassador Clare Ford.

Then I got a bit carried away.

I was going to make sure this lovely, neglected building was restored and what is more, not just made beautiful (with no white carpets and places to stow your ‘water toys’) but into a (tasteful) place where he and the female – because what a shock, we had a female, yes female, ambassador in the 19th century – were celebrated.

I had salons planned, rooms, other rooms, gallery spaces – and though I am not a fan of 19th century watercolours  I was willing to be liberal and show them off – and did I mention rooms? – a very nice set of rooms for friends and family.

(Not mahogany and brown upholstery but something much more light and airy and suitable and yes, in better taste.)

And what is more, I planned a celebration of this unknown female ambassador. 

I would track down her history, her letters, her relationship with Giallanas……

Then, I did some more research and found that Clare Ford had commissioned our artist to paint landscapes in Venice, Rhodes, Istanbul and had arranged an exhibition in London and introduced him to London society.

Well done that woman, I thought.

Clare Ford, it turns out, was Sir Francis Clare Ford.

My Best Beloved and I spent the evening thinking of colour schemes, but I am not sure the millions are yet decided.

The View From Corfu

There is a depressing element of Groundhog Day about us going on holiday – it rains, or there is civil unrest.

(Though I have to say that since we booked ill-fated visas for Syria in 2011 and then were told by the Foreign Office that we would be on our own if we went – we didn’t –  our jinx has been confined to rain.)

So, here is this holiday’s tale so far.

(Now you have had the spoiler alert, you needn’t read on to find out what happens if you have better things to do – and I have to say, that as I write this, there is a brief glimpse of sun over the sea, so this is after all, a privileged person’s complaint.)

For those of you still with me, here is the timeline:

Packing:

Despite the weather forecasts, I think positively and pack summer stuff – after all the forecasts say it is going to be sometimes sunny. ( I am still in the warmer travel clothes I arrived in.)

My best beloved, optimistically, packed snorkels. 

The airport:

I am a nervous flyer and anyway like to be in good time, so we are there early – despite a Monday morning rush hour drive involving the M25 and a blinding sun in my eyes.

The BB settles down for a paper, a cappuccino and almond croissant whilst I wander about getting things I don’t really need, and forgetting the one thing we do really need – a guide book to Corfu.

Since I met him, our holidays have involved, thinking where might be nice, booking it with no further research, and buying a Rough Guide for me to read on the plane so that we know what to do.

Mmmm no guide book……

The Gatwick electronic boards show that our flight is ‘Go to the Gate’ but no gate is shown. I pace about nervously, whilst the BB says, there is plenty of time.

IMG_2061

Eventually, it shows ‘Boarding’ but still no gate and at this point, my ever laid back and patient BB decides we ought to find out what is going on.

We find an airport information desk and they tell us the gate.

We join a few other enterprising souls who have found the mystery gate and are told to sit and wait, and wait and wait.

The flight:

It is with a small Polish carrier and there are all of 20 of us on the flight.

Nice, I thought, not least as we were at the front with extra leg room and there were a million places to put your overhead luggage.

We had, as the Polish captain said the ‘usual Gatwick’ wait of 30 minutes before we could get a slot to fly, and then we were off.

One of the nice young cabin crew men came to take our order for food and drink. He wrote it down and took it away – there were about 8 of us at the front of the plane.

He smiled, and told us it would be about 10 to 15 minutes for the food.

It was the worst cheese and tomato toastie in flight memory – cold and with only one slice actually toasted – after 15 minutes, really? 

The women cabin crew came to the front after their (arduous) food service of the other say 10 people at the back – and one of them sat texting.

Now, I know that the rules about mobile phones being switched off is silly – but really! In front of the passengers?

The drive:

A nice holiday rep at the airport said our drive would take her about 20 minutes so we, not knowing the road, should think about 30 minutes.

And, she said, the weather forecast was looking up.

Nice she may have been, but truthful she certainly wasn’t.

This is not the first holiday we have had this year, and it is also not the first holiday we have had where a lot of uphill and downhill sharp s-bends and sheer drops, a newly-hired car, and me ( a relatively cautious driver)  have been involved.

Thank god it was not the height of the season so there was, as we were told, no one on the roads – well not quite actually, … I’d say it took us about an hour.

( We had been warned by the hire car woman that the turn into the public car park was a killer for scraping the underside of the car – and that was not covered by the rental agreement – so I was told to take it wide to the left. But not so far to the left that I scraped the passenger side on the bushes – because that was not covered either….)

We are thinking of taking the bus tomorrow.

When we arrived, we went down to one of the many tavernas overlooking the beach – all very nice and the sun setting. 

We ordered wine and what turned out to be very nice fish, and watched the sun.

fullsizeoutput_d93

Then there was the creeping black of cloud on the horizon.

Then it got bigger and became what you would call, a bit dramatic.

IMG_2069

Is that a bad sign I asked the waiter.

He was evasive – it seems to be a trait here to not tell the tourists bad news – but eventually he agreed, indeed it was a bad sign.

We watched the sun go down behind black cloud and wondered what you do in a small-ish Greek resort in the final week of the season when it rains….

So, the place we are staying is nice but rather basic – though as I sit here there is a view of the sea. 

(Admittedly it is a bit full of white caps and the rain tends to take the edge of it but hey ho the BB went swimming this morning.)

IMG_2080

I decided to cook lunch – we are after all self-catering – and got some tomatoes, peppers etc and then found the kitchen has no wooden spoon, no decent sized frying pan, no tin opener and no scissors……

We decided against eating outside.

IMG_2081

One Thursday in Oxfam

I arrive at the shop carrying two very heavy, and large history books. Not just any history books but two of three volumes ( we don’t have the missing one,) of a history of the Kings and Queens of England compiled in 1706.

The entry on each ruler was done by a different author – one of them being John Milton.

The front covers were there but not attached, but the sound of the paper as you turn the pages is that lovely sound of really old, good paper and you can see the ’s’s were printed  as ‘f’s’ – and, of course, all of it was set and printed by hand.

IMG_2024

Because of the condition, and the missing volume, they couldn’t be sold for much and although £5.99 for the two is ridiculously cheap, given the 312 years they have survived, it is a realistic price for us – I have checked (exhaustively).

There is more about these books, but before I go any further, I must warn you that this was a long and very busy day and so, if you were planning a quick read, now is the time to give up, and go and do what you were planning to do.

It is 9am.

The first thing we always do on a Thursday is to to get the kettle on.

Then we had a meeting.

Now in our shop, we don’t have manager-called staff/volunteer meetings – I think the last one was a year ago – but we do need to sort out the run up to Christmas, so we had a one amongst ourselves. 

The five of us who were there, set about thinking through what could be on the table and what could be in the window, how we could make the shop look extra good in the run up to our best selling time of year.

And now we have a list – it might change, not least because we have to have the books to fit the ideas – and that is always a gamble when you are relying on donations.

(We have some things in hand. For the past six months, we have been collecting books on the World War I ready for November’s anniversary, we have a good collection of photography books, ancient civilisations and some others…)

I will talk/have meetings with other books-sorters over the coming weeks and tell them what we have come up with, and we will no doubt change, develop, amend ideas depending on what they say.

Still, we have a plan, and that feels good.

I am not a great fan of Christmas, but in the shop, I love it. 

This is the time when we can really make money, and more than that, we can really make it look extra  good.

It is now about 10am.

I go out to get the prescription medicine from Boots, the copy of The Times and the bird food that I collect every week for a volunteer who fell over, nearly three years ago, and broke her wrist.

She thought it would mean be a few weeks off and she would be back, but ill-health and a badly-set wrist, has meant she hasn’t been.

So every week, I collect the stuff she needs and my, excellent in so many ways, fellow volunteer D, takes them to her on his way home and he, or I, sometimes slip in a treat of chocolate as it is not much fun being old and not well, and having no family around.

We tell her they are Oxfam gifts.

Anyway, I get back to find that the aftermath of the parish church’s fete means that literally trolley loads of unsold books are heading our way.

D, realising that we would be inundated, has persuaded the church donor to let him go through the books at the church and just take the ones he thought we could sell. 

He has gone off to do so.

Phew.

I took over sorting the books that had come in.

It is now about 11 am.

I am still sorting. D comes back, and we carry on sorting and pricing and shelving. Him upstairs and me downstairs.

A young woman comes in asking for a volunteer form. I tell her that the process will take some weeks, but we are looking forward to her joining us.

She is volunteering at Christmas, she tells us, to cook and serve food to people who are one their own over the festivities, and she really likes books and wants to work here too.

I wonder whether the very long silence between her putting her form in and hearing from us will put her off – I hope not.

Meanwhile, J, the person who is on the till, unflappable, calm, organised and ever-helpful, has cleared and re-shelved the previous books on the the table, so that we can surround the books mentioned at the start, with other – not as interesting, but hey ho – history books.

(Every week, she polishes the table in between displays, with proper wood-feeding polish and elbow grease. ‘It needs to look good,’ she said when she sent me out to buy some decent polish a few months ago.)

Our window is dressed/designed by another volunteer called J.

She does a different, and very good, window every other week. Customers come in and comment on it.

We are on week-two of the art window so she has re-jigged, up-dated, got ‘new’ stock in it to make it look good.

(It has sold very well – including the prints from books that my husband has framed – not bad at £45 each, and a boost to the weekly income.)

fullsizeoutput_cf5

Given that she wasn’t re-doing the whole window, and she was thinking ‘art’, and as she was looking to do something else useful, she gets most of the art books from upstairs and brings them down onto the art shelves – those shelves were looking a bit thin but now they look fat and healthy.

She also re-does the podiums and other stylish stuff – her forte.

D and I are still sorting books.

J, the one on the till, needs change – customers buying a £2.49 book with a £20 note…. and, as she checks the state of the blue change bag upstairs every Thursday morning and almost invariably finds a £10 note in it, she tells me to get change so the next shift will have their change ready as well the change she needs. 

So, I go next door to the HSBC bank where they know me – and supply pound coins by the basket full.

(One of the women who works there, had told me her son was really interested in natural history. So one day recently, when getting pound coins, I gave her a book on Darwin’s Beagle voyage. 

I was going to throw it away – it was not in a good enough state to sell and it was a small thank you for all the change they give us – but I thought it might be a bit too advanced for her young son.

Some weeks later she told me that he had loved it, and read it throughout the long flight to South Africa – and is now re-reading it. 

One of the other bank-tellers is Polish but/and is fascinated by the English language and semiotics (she did her masters in English language.) So, every now and then I give her a book on language – one that we would throw away  – and she reads it, and then tells me about it when I am in there getting change.)

Meanwhile, donations are coming in.

The re-cycle bin is full.

We now have a written briefing by our manager to say that we are not allowed to put the books into the general bin – there would be an additional cost to the shop.

And the donations are coming in.

D and I fill carrier bags, Ikea bags, any bags we can find, with books destined for the book-afterlife – as well as boxes of books that might find a buyer somewhere and somewhen via Oxfam’s central warehouse.

The bags will have to wait until the re-cycle bin is emptied – but that happens when?

We don’t know what the emptying regime is.

And we fill crates of books that we think we can sell, and which need pricing and shelving, presenting – and hopefully – selling.

D has to go – his father is ill in hospital and his mother has a broken wrist – but he has come in, and we would not have coped without him.

And, he will still make time to deliver the medicine, bird food, The Times, and have a chat with the now almost-housebound volunteer I mentioned earlier –  these days I see her more rarely than he does, but we speak on the phone. 

Meanwhile, one of our volunteers who works a shift on Wednesday afternoons and comes in as well, yes for another shift, on a Thursday when there is a need, has called in.

He comes in every Thursday morning to see if he is needed in the afternoon.

This Thursday he had come in, early in the morning, and asked if he needed to come in later and, if not, he had something else to do. 

I had said, blithely, that we could manage.

But that was a mistake.

Because, as he was leaving, D mentions that the afternoon till volunteer is not coming in.

It is now about 12 noon.

I haven’t yet been upstairs – I had been a bit busy – to see on the calendar that the afternoon volunteer was away.

And you need two people in the shop to be Oxfam-legal. And that left only me for the afternoon.

So, I call the shop manager and left a message asking if he could give me the Thursday extra-volunteer’s number so then I could ask him if he could, in fact, come in.

The manager calls back to say he had called the volunteer’s home and heard he was out for the afternoon and he says, ‘ You will just have to  close the shop.’

I am annoyed for not looking at the calendar – and there are still books to be sorted, in fact lots of them, so I should be doing something more useful than just berating myself.

Closing the shop, of course, means we lose sales, and things are never good enough that we want to want to do that.

The calm, unflappable volunteer J, who is more than active but not used to doing a full day’s work these days, says, ‘ Give me half an hour to go home and get some lunch, and I will come back and do the afternoon with you.’

I hugged her, but thought that there must be someone else.

I call a volunteer who turned out to be in Sheffield minding her grandchildren, another who said she was picking up her grandchildren, another who was out, another had a doctor’s appointment and so on and so on, and then finally another volunteer calls back and said he is driving back from Southampton, so will be a bit late but yes, he will come in.

I don’t hug him – but I would have. 

He is also called J.

It is now about 1.30pm.

J comes in and between us, during the afternoon, we get almost every donated book sorted, him upstairs and me downstairs – in a bag ready to go in a bin when one is available, in a box to go to the warehouse, or priced and on a shelf.

We talk about the crates we need to set up ready to receive books we were going to collect for the window and table in the run up to Christmas.

We talk about clearing the box of overflow travel books which has been sitting upstairs  – and ignored – for weeks and weeks –  and which, I have to say, is full of books many of which shouldn’t ever hit our shop shelves.

We talk about Monday morning when he would be in, and Monday afternoon when I would be in, and how we could overlap so that we can do some ‘real sorting out.’ 

(All getting ready for the Christmas run – we are nothing if not getting ready.)

Meanwhile, I am on the till.

I count during the afternoon, and 11 people who come into the shop look at those special history books – remember those from the beginning?

None of them buy those books, but so many of them talk to me about them. ( And, they do sell the next day and the volunteer who sold them was so pleased, she contacted me to tell me.)

And some of those customers go on on to buy other books.

That is what a good table does – it draws people into the shop and, hopefully, they go on to buy other books.

We like the table to be noticed – and customers notice the table, and more than the table, they notice the window, volunteers notice and comment on them – and that makes worthwhile all the weeks of effort, collecting, organising, thinking about them, planning.

Meanwhile, J and I sort more donations.

Every shift says that they get more donations than any other time of the week, but the truth is, thankfully or we would be in deep trouble, they come in all the time.

The last one comes in at 4.50 and we close at 5 ….. but J and I clear it.

It is a very good feeling to look around the back room and the upstairs room and know that you have sorted it all, well, more or less.

Meanwhile, J has also re-stocked the academic shelves, and I have re-stocked cookery, putting all the cooks/chefs in alphabetical order – probably a bit OCD but commentated on favourably by a customer. 

I have changed the front-facing books – and that matters because they sell more quickly, and also customers notice if they are same week after week – I have sold three newly front-faced books in the afternoon.

And three ‘art works’ from the window, by the way.

I have put out a collection of ‘old and interesting’ travel books on the top shelf of that module and made a mental note that the travel shelves really need a good sort out – perhaps on Monday if I have time…..

Meanwhile, a customer come in (and says in passing, as people do when you engage with them, he used to be a violin player but was now a singer), and he had been in the week before, and bought £30 worth of classical CDs.

I had heard about this from another volunteer and had texted the classical music volunteer to tell him so – usually in on a Thursday, but away at the moment.

He was, not surprisingly, pleased.

This visit the customer bought only a few CDs, but he wanted to say that our ‘classical volunteer’ knows what he is about.

And, yes, I text the volunteer again even though I know he is on a ramblers’ scout for a long walk in the Cotswolds.

Meanwhile, there is a ham and coleslaw sandwich in the fridge that I never had time to eat.

It is 5 pm.

And time to shut up shop and see how much we have made.

Before I cash up, I look around the shop and I see a clear back room – of course it  it won’t stay like that, but it is a good moment.

I straighten the paperback fiction and the children’s fiction, put one or two books straight on the table, check that the window has no gaps, make a list of things that need doing on Monday, talk to J who is just putting a few new books on the academic shelves and who will be in on Monday to start all over again….

I am just locking up the shop when I see a man approaching.

On Monday when I was shutting up, my fellow volunteer said ‘No, you can’t shut yet.’ 

She told me that there was a regular who came and got to the shop depending on when the bus arrived – and it was always just before or after 5pm.

So, today I held the door open for him.

He bought nothing today, but on Monday he might, and he really appreciated that he could get in to our shop even if the bus was a bit late.

We made about £268 –  not bad for a Thursday.

Mariella and Me

I had planned on keeping quiet the news of a big birthday and having no ‘celebration’ (what’s to bloody celebrate after all,) but events, some of my own making, have conspired against this.

Recently we were at a Meet the Fokkers type of evening – though I have to say a lot less disastrous thanks to the careful management of the conversation to ensure that whatever the subject, it never came near Brexit – in the circumstances even a chat about the nice lasagne has bear traps in it.

Anyway, the meal was coming to an end when discussions turned to the forthcoming wedding and, more importantly for me, the fact that my birthday is the night before.

So, my husband’s son, who was feeling very relieved and happy that everyone had got on, announced to all the table that it was my birthday then and as it was SUCH A BIG BIRTHDAY – that we should have some kind of celebration.

I think the amount of wine he had drunk insulated him from my look offering death by strangulation and he went on to insist, despite my protestations, that of course we need to have a great birthday event the night before his wedding.

I thought I had made my point, rather forcefully to him after the event, but in a recent phone call, he said again that we couldn’t let the birthday pass without a celebration and as everyone was gathering anyway, it would just be fun.

At that point I reminded him that though he knew me well, he had never seen me really cross but should he need more information on that, I would hand him over to his father.

‘I think it’s sunk in that you really don’t want anything,’ he said ( rather hurriedly and sincerely, I thought.)

So, I was re-telling this to a good friend and she said, ‘ Well just a few female friends at our house, lunch even though supper is better..not on your birthday of course as you will be busy but around then.’

‘What!’ I cried.

Yes, of course I am being churlish. It is of course, lovely that people want to celebrate but I plan on carrying being very churlish.

However, I cannot claim to have kept all this birthday malarky secret because I emailed Open Book on Radio 4 where they have a readers’ clinic.

I said, it was my 60th year and I was going to do things in sixes and one of those would be to read six good sci-fi books as it was a genre I don’t know, and lots of people seem to have a snobbish allergy to.

They broadcasted my request ( I went to W1A to read it out, and yes it did look just as the programme showed and there were some very nice people talking into their mobiles and sitting on uncomfortable but stylish-looking sofas).

No, I didn’t get to have a nice chat with Mariella Frostrop

But she did an interview with Peter F Hamilton,a nice sounding man, who is apparently the best-selling British sci-fi author and he recommended what sound like six really interesting books.

So, if on the evening of my birthday any, but any, attempt is made to make it into a celebration you will find me being very churlish in a hotel room with a very good sci-fi book.

Here is the list in case you are interested:

Way Station by Clifford Simak

Everything About You by Heather Child

The First 15 Lives of Harry August by Clare North

Ack Ack Macaque by Gareth Powell

Revenger by Alistair Reynolds

The Time Ships by Stephen Baxter

 

Going to Bed

We have a new bed – and it means there is an air of 1970s porn movie about our bedroom at the moment.

Oh, dear reader, please don’t tell me your’s is always like that….

So moving on, the bed we ordered was called an Eleanor, the mattress an Emma, and for the sake of symmetry, the thick mattress topper is called Evie.

My best beloved finds it rather amusing to head up to bed of an night, anticipating the delights of Eleanor, Emma and Evie.

And I have to say they do welcome you in  – but their welcome is more about an easing of aching joints, a comfortable way to lie and read your book whilst sipping your tea, space to turn over in the night……

Regular readers will know that the buying of this bed, mattress etc was an exercise in procrastination (and umbrellas ) – my BB has a way of not doing something today that could be half-done several months from now, and only the increasing discomfort of the bed we had, finally got him round to a bit of Googling.

(The bed we had was meant to be a treat when we moved here and was replacement for a very serviceable Ikea number. The mattress was hand-made by Egyptian children over 20 years, or something like that.

(But, beds are like walking boots, you can’t tell that they will work, however much you pay, until you have spent some time with them.

(We gave the bed to a friend and she got her son and another strapping young man, to take it away and assemble Eleanor – a result all round.)

Anyway, bed assembled, mattress on it, topper on the top, all is well.

Except.

My BB and I have different duvet needs – I am a hot person and he wants something nice and warm and tucked in around him.

Separate duvets are the norm in the rest of Europe but it took some persuading to get him to agree that this was a good idea and not the first step to me leaving him to the (imaginary) delights of Eleanor, Emma and Evie.

Whether he was ready or not, I bought a lovely light, minimal tog feather single duvet and a couple of single duvet covers.

When he came round to the idea, the internet search was on for an extra long single duvet for my extra long BB.

That is, surprisingly, not too difficult – but the duvet covers they offer to go with them are awful – two plain sheets sewn together would about cover the necessary description.

So, I am about to ‘extend’ the nice other single duvet cover. 

Because he has cold feet, I thought I might extend it with a fleece layered extension – complementary fabric of course so that Eleanor, Emma and Evie look nicely dressed up.

Now there is the action of a considerate Sussex housewife.

 

 

Phones and Faff

I do realise that you, dear reader, may wince at the mention of Christmas but for those of us beavering away at the retail of second-hand books, things need to be started on that front.

For some years, I have been telling you about how we start stockpiling books in exceptionally good condition to boost our Christmas trade and that means lots of crates around the upstairs room with notes on them saying they need to be left well alone until I decide we need to start putting them out.

Well, last week, another volunteer and I decided we needed to clear some space to slot empty, waiting crates into.

The shop manager is nothing if not a man to throw anything away or deal with anything today when several months hence might do just as well.

(I have this feeling that if you dig hard enough under bottom shelves, behind boxes, at the back of etc etc you could easily find a mummified body of an apparently unmissed volunteer.)

However, what we found most of during this clear out, was lots and lots of mobile phones. 

People can, and apparently do often, donate old mobile phones and Oxfam has some system of getting them re-used or their innards taken out, or whatever.

But to do that they need to be sent somewhere. Only the manager knows where, and he had clearly decided that there was no rush. 

There were about three carrier bags and a sizeable box of them.

So, we pulled them out of their dark corner – where there was also a hoover which to the best of my knowledge has not be employed for the past say two or three years, a 1960s box for carrying records which had been stashed with out of date cameras and lenses…..

Anyway, we put the phones into crates and put them in the other room, not too far from the kettle, so they couldn’t be ignored.

Next time I went in, the manager had put them all into cardboard boxes, neatly labelled as mobile phones for re-cycling and put them back where they were before!

And they will probably be there next Christmas.

In that clear out/up, I also found a box of Coalport houses – I had checked them and priced them and put them back in the box and promptly forgotten about them – though I do remember thinking they would work on a Christmas table, so all is not lost.

This time of year also means the annual ritual of crab apple jelly.

IMG_2002

I am sure I have said before that what was once a nod towards earth mother meets Sussex housewife, lost much of its charm on the basis it is a faff to make and we don’t eat it/remember to give it away over the year, and so is now in a stash in the cellar.

Anyway, this year we have, for the first time, a quince harvest and if anything quince jelly is even more of a faff, but it has the advantages novelty and you can make membrillo from the left over pulp.

IMG_2009

 

So, I put a notice in the village shop window offering our crab apples to any takers and this afternoon, as I sit writing this, a family are doing their best to clear the tree and are raking up the windfalls in the process.

Excellent.

IMG_2008

What to do when the visitors have gone

I may have mentioned that we had a lot of visitors and when they went, I slumped.

And then I recovered and thought ‘ Mmm, what do I do now.’

That should be a cue for something really interesting but, dear reader, don’t hold your breath. 

I have, for reasons which I won’t bore you with, been dealing with two designers for different reasons, and instead of giving them a proper brief, I have been saying,’ Oh that is lovely, but could you just….’

‘Does that blue really suggest food? I don’t think there is any blue food so could we go for a green…’

And, ‘It is great but because of the politics of the situation, could we move the bridge to the forefront?’

And, ‘Do you know anyone who can get this printed in two days rather than ten?’

All of this requires an eye for detail and regular reader you, as my friends and family will agree, that is not my forte.

So, meanwhile, I have done some stuff which is well within the comfort blanket.

Oxfam – when in doubt, go sort books.

Make a comfort meal – lentil dahl (with slow cooked lamb shanks.)

Dog walking.

And yes, the annual event – cleaning out the fridge.

So at the back I find three jars of fake caviar.

From Christmas, I am thinking, and they will be – probably – used up before next Christmas.

Or then again, they could come in handy on let’s just say for argument’s sake, a Christmas Eve drinks and tasty canapés party….

More jars of home-made jams etc than you can shake a stick at.

And we don’t eat jam etc – despite it being nicely homemade.

Sorry to say but most in the bin now – so, those of you who wanted some crab apple jelly, blackberry jelly, various chutneys etc etc, should have said so earlier.

And, as always, there was a leftover something which isn’t quite mouldy but then again I was not sure it could or should survive….

And then there was the washing out the fridge drawers, one slimey with the remains of a decomposing cucumber – just the one, before you get all sniffy.

It took pretty much all afternoon.

IMG_1972.JPG

 

So, pleased with all I have done, I decide to work out how Dropbox works, to sort out the problems I have with NatWest online, chase an outstanding invoice, plan a Serve Food For Syria evening, do a TripAdvisor review for the very nice hotel we stayed in in Fayence, Provence ( for one night, I hasten to add), sort out someone to cut the high hedges, source soil for a raised bed, chase both those designers for different reasons – and book a walk with a good friend to sort out what to do with our lives……

There was me thinking that life without visitors would be all lying around watching telly and reading Nietzsche.

IMG_1975.JPG