Back On The Case

I wrote the piece below in 2007 whilst living in Brussels and having the bright idea of setting up a website which looked for the best design for people getting older/old.

It was a good idea but, like many I have had, I didn’t follow it through – I’m not good at doing projects alone and though I contacted a then friend who ran a design company and he loved the idea, the ‘children’ who worked for him saw anyone over the age of 40 as at the very least, boring and designing stuff for ‘really’ old people as boring/appalling/unimaginable.

So, it never happened.

Now I am back more interested in these issues because they are nothing if not imminent/immediate.

Now, I am on the case again.

And on that, dear reader, there will be more to follow.

When the first baby boomers needed reading glasses there was a revolution – all of a sudden you could get smart, sassy glasses over the counter at reasonable prices.

But that, it seems is where design and ageing seems to have stopped – or at least not boomed as it were.

If you are of an age when you might consider buying one of those chairs that recline and push out a footrest, the designs available are just horrid – nasty, old-fashioned and yes, horrid.

There is nothing which is not either faux tapestry which looks as if it has been chosen not to show the dirt (or maybe leaking bodily fluids), or as in one US advert, blouson purple fake leather – give me a break.

When I need to sit down in a shower, I want an elegant well-designed seat which looks like part of a well-designed shower. I do not want the current option which is a plastic chair from B&Q or something which looks like it escaped from an old people’s home in the 70s.

The market is huge for good design for older people.

We are rapidly increasing in numbers, we have the money, we are demanding and style and consumer orientated, we could be a very good source of income for smart retailers and manufacturers.

And it is not just the house – but whilst still on that, IKEA could design a kitchen with the older person in mind: lots of drawers, good lighting, all sorts of ideas they probably already incorporate but just think if they advertised so that you knew at 60 when you invested in your new kitchen it would work when you were 75.

So, not just the house. Fashion. We are the generation who will shop in the same places as our daughters. But we also want stuff which is appropriate – not many of us, however well-preserved want our bellies showing.

We want to know that this store or online shop is great for seriously well-cut but smart trousers which hide a bulge or two. You may to pay a bit for them but you can team team then with these cardigans from Primark or Top Shop.

I have been doing some thinking about this and there is a lot of ground to be made up. Look at this site.

No one is going to convince me the women on the home page – a site which is apparently targeted at women over 50 – are anything over 35. Look at the lingerie section and…..well I rest my case.

And some of the shoes my granny would have baulked at.

The site is one of the best examples of knowing there is a market out there but not knowing how to cater for us.

There are an estimated 78 million people over the age of 50 around and they say that we will spend some 2 trillion dollars on consumer goods and services.

Well maybe, but I tell you I am not spending it on stuff which may be practical but ugly, functional and screams ‘old person’ at you. I do not want the grandkids walking into my house and thinking ‘old person’s house, yuk’ (or whatever the current parlance for yuk is.)

I want my house to be stylish, practical and contemporary – and designed around me getting older.

It is not impossible but at the moment the stereotypes are blinding the designers and retailers.

Old people – anyone over 50 – is either sprightly grey-haired and sun tanned walking in the sand dunes or toothless, infirm, frail and not caring what anything looks like.

(Why shouldn’t my (eventual) incontinence pads come in a Victoria’s Secrets wrapping or at least something nice?)

There is a lot of difference between being 50 and being 80 and the market needs to be looked at differently.

Well-designed things may be out there – and if anyone knows of anything I would love to know about it. In the meantime chair manufacturers, bathroom designers, lighting designers, fashion writers, magazine editors please take note: we want smart, sexy, stylish and very good quality – and for us, please.

As for marketeers and advertising agencies, it may be my prejudices but perhaps the fact they are staffed by hyper-cool boys may just be blinding them to the opportunities out there if only they would treat us right.

Odysseus – the not so modern man

Going on holiday with someone steeped in Greek history and mythology has its advantages.

There are of course times when chit chat of the day, especially when the day has been weather dull and not much going on, can flag.

But at that point you can steer the conversation around to, say, Odysseus.

Apparently, he landed on an island, since claimed to be Corfu (where we were.)

Not for the first time, he was shipwrecked and had to sleep on the beach.

Imagine his surprise in the morning then, when a delightful princess arrived with her handmaidens, who recognised him for the gent he was and took him home to be lauded by her father’s court.

(Even more surprising was the fact she and her handmaidens had travelled across the island to do the washing and that is how they bumped into him…..)

Image result for images odysseus

Actually, there is a quite a lot of cut and paste about Odysseus’ adventures – shipwrecked, on the beach with a few survivors, going inland to kill a sheep, roasting it and then waiting for a pretty girl to turn up.

Anyway, we were at the taverna and the best beloved looked up Tennyson’s poem about what happened when Odysseus finally got home after all his travels.

You might remember that his wife Penelope had been keeping her 108 suitors -who were pretty sure that Odysseus was not coming back in a hurry – waiting by weaving a shroud.

She said she would choose one of them when she had finished – but each night she would unpick a bit to fend off decision time.

This ruse lasted three years until she was unmasked by a faithless servant.

Given that Odysseus was away for 20 years, she must have had some more inventive tricks up her Grecian sleeve.

So Odysseus gets home and decides to come in dressed as a beggar to see what is what, no doubt.

The goddess Athena gets involved, and Penelope sets up a contest for the still lingering suitors – none of which apparently recognise our hero – so that whoever can string Odysseus’s rigid bow and shoot an arrow through twelve axe heads may have her hand. 

Well, yes of course, Odysseus wins and the suitors are all slaughtered.

Meanwhile, back at the taverna, my BB had looked up Tennyson’s poem on what happened next.

( You need to know at this point, just in case you didn’t, that Odysseus and Ulysses are the same man – the same, away for 20 years, shipwrecked,  los of adventures, fond of a pretty girl, man.)

Now, I am always throwing away copies of Tennyson’s work at the Oxfam shop – he is not read much in these times and parts – but this poem is a great rail against getting old and not doing what you can in the time you have. 

(By the way Tennyson was not a lord – he was christened Alfred Lord Tennyson.)

Which is fine and dandy, but if I was Penelope and he came in of an evening and read this to me as a justification for what he was about to do, I might be less than pleased. 

(In fairness there is nothing in the Odessy to say whether he actually set off again or stayed home and told his wife and son how grateful he was that they had kept all things in order, the home fires burning, and were there to look after him in his old age, listen to his endless, bloody endless, stories of his adventures…..)

The commentary is mine…

Ulysses

It little profits that an idle king, 

By this still hearth, among these barren crags, 

Match’d with an aged wife, I mete and dole 

Unequal laws unto a savage race, 

That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me. 

The aged wife, mate, is so because you have been away for 20 years and she has been fending off suitors, bringing up your son – born just before you set off on your adventures and who has been running your kingdom….

I cannot rest from travel: I will drink 

Life to the lees: 

(so, you got home, hung around in disguise and now instead of being nice to your very long-suffering wife and son who have kept everything together, you think, ‘ I really need a bit of a trip, something exciting to break the monotony.’ )

All times I have enjoy’d 

Greatly, have suffer’d greatly, both with those 

That loved me, and alone, on shore, 

(not that alone, with a pretty girl on each shipwrecked bay….) 

and when 

Thro’ scudding drifts the rainy Hyades 

Vext the dim sea: I am become a name; 

For always roaming with a hungry heart 

Much have I seen and known; cities of men 

And manners, climates, councils, governments, 

Myself not least, but honour’d of them all; 

( and modesty not being one of my many, many great qualities…)

And drunk delight of battle with my peers, 

Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy. 

I am a part of all that I have met; 

Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’ 

Gleams that untravell’d world whose margin fades 

For ever and forever when I move. 

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

( I am guessing Penelope won’t be that pleased to hear that.) 

To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use! 

As tho’ to breathe were life! Life piled on life 

Were all too little, and of one to me 

Little remains: but every hour is saved 

From that eternal silence, something more, 

A bringer of new things; and vile it were 

For some three suns to store and hoard myself, 

And this gray spirit yearning in desire 

To follow knowledge like a sinking star, 

Beyond the utmost bound of human thought. 

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail: 

There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners, 

Souls that have toil’d, and wrought, and thought with me— 

That ever with a frolic welcome took 

( Mmm. a shipwreck a week and not that much of a frolic, I am thinking…a man with an overly romantic hindsight.)

The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed 

Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old; 

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil; 

Death closes all: but something ere the end, 

Some work of noble note, may yet be done, 

( Rest on your laurels, mate, and bear in mind that we all look backwards and wish that we might have done something more impressive with our lives, but hey ho, you had more adventures than most – and certainly more than Penelope got.)

Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods. 

( see above re self-depreciation)

The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks: 

The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep 

Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends, 

‘T is not too late to seek a newer world. 

Push off, and sitting well in order smite 

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds 

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths 

Of all the western stars, until I die. 

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down: 

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles, 

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew. 

Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’ 

We are not now that strength which in old days 

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; 

One equal temper of heroic hearts, 

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will 

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.